Good Mother, Bad Mother
Motherhood as cultural identity sets up a standard by which all mothers are judged. The U.S. media, and greater U.S. society at large, uses the rhetorical strategy of the epideictic to police and promote Ideal Motherhood. As Aristotle describes in Rhetoric, epideictic speech is “the ceremonial oratory of display”, which either praises or blames someone, and is concerned with the present (Book 1. III.). This genre of rhetoric deals with Virtue and Vice, the Noble and the Base, and so requires two methods of persuasion. First, the speaker must establish Virtue (the Noble) as that which is both good and desirable for its own sake and so praiseworthy, and the particulars thereof (IX). The most honourable Virtues are those that most benefit others, good in their own nature instead of just good for the individual, like courage and justice, according to Aristotle. In fact, the most praiseworthy actions and Virtues are those that benefit others at the expense of the self, since they are definitely not for one’s own gain. Vice is the opposite, undesirable, and so blameworthy.
The second method of persuasion requires the orator to identify the signs of Virtue, or lack thereof, in the actions of the individual(s) in question, and to prove that those actions were intentional (IX). Furthermore, Aristotle argues that “to praise a man is in one respect akin to urging a course of action”, and so is phrased to urge or forbid certain actions (IX). The epideictic also allows the orator to heighten praise by showing the man to be consistent and distinct in Virtue, especially in comparison to others. Blame would also use the same rhetorical strategy. Finally, the epideictic takes the individual’s actions as acknowledged facts, and so must only imbue them with nobility (IX). The function of the epideictic, then, is to promote certain behaviours, and their related Virtues, and prohibit others. The media functions as a medium by which “good” identities are promoted, and non-mainstream identities and experiences are delegitimized as “bad”.
The Good Mother (?)
We are inundated with images and stories about the good mother. The good mother represents an offshoot of the Ideal Motherhood, and in visibly embodies those tenets of support and unconditional love. The Television, and now the Internet, provides us with the most frequent motherhood tropes.
In Access Hollywood’s “Top 20 TV Moms of All Time” (Dec 2009), we see what values of motherhood are praised and/or propagated in popular culture:
In Access Hollywood’s “Top 20 TV Moms of All Time” (Dec 2009), we see what values of motherhood are praised and/or propagated in popular culture:
The number one TV mom is the avatar of “new momism”. She’s a super SAHM, who simultaneously develops her multiple talents, and looks after and supports not just her own children but those of her husband as well. She is redeemed from her housewife status due to her extracurricular activities, as implied by the “much more”. Incidentally, the Brady family is a typical upper middle class, suburban, white all American family, which may have contributed to Carol Brady’s successes. |
2. Phylicia Rashad — Clair Huxtable on ‘The Cosby Show’
Another upper middle class, professional suburban family - except that they are African American. Clair Huxatable is another avatar of “new momism”, a “family balancing” lawyer who is also “fair and loving with her children”. She is being praised for being able to 1) fully support her family despite her demanding job as a lawyer, and 2) for being “fair” - just - and still loving, perhaps as a domestic reflection of her job. |
4. Barbara Billingsley — June Cleaver on ‘Leave it to Beaver’
Once more, the mother is part of a suburban middle class family. June Cleaver represents the wholesome, devoted stay-at-home mom values of Adriene Rich’s “institutionalized motherhood”, whose home is her haven and who primarily lives for her son. She is less praiseworthy in comparison to the other moms but again, her commitment to the welfare of her son puts her on this list. |
6. Meredith Baxter — Elyse Keaton on ‘Family Ties’
Another suburban middle class family, with Elyse Keaton as a freelance profession and ‘cool’ mom, who understands, loves and supports her children “even under the most challenging circumstances”. She’s another emerging “new mom”, with family and work balance.
7. Julie Kavner — Marge Simpson on ‘The Simpsons’
Even with a layabout husband, Marge Simpson lives something akin to a middle class suburban lifestyle. She is the June Cleaver of animation, and exemplifies the selfless, completely devoted, unconditionally loving, moral building tenets of Ideal motherhood as described by both Rich and DiQuinzio. In doing so, she fits Aristotle’s characteristics of selfless Nobility and “goodness”.
8. Sally Field — Nora Walker on ‘Brothers and Sisters’
Another overbearing mother who can’t let her children go out of her devoted love. She cares “a little too much”. It is interesting to note that once children reach adulthood, the mother’s unconditional love and attention becomes a nuisance, only to be tolerated because it stems from love. Her devoted love - selfless love - makes her worthy of praise, even if her actions are unnecessary.
9. Mary Louise Parker — Nancy Botwin on ‘Weeds’
A widowed mother who will go to all lengths in order to ensure a comfortable lifestyle for her children” including illegally selling marijuana. This is the first socio-economically insecure mother to come up on the list. Despite causing harm to herself, Nancy Botwin is praised for taking care of her sons at any cost - another selfless hero according to Aristotle.
10. Katey Sagal — Peggy Bundy on ‘Married With Children’Peggy Bundy is not praiseworthy, and in fact is pretty much the opposite of the selfless, sacrificing, unconditionally loving mother. But she’s funny. Peggy Bundy is part of an uneducated, working class family, and is funny because of her materialism, her selfishness, and her laziness. She provides humour for the audience, an example to mock but not follow.
Another suburban middle class family, with Elyse Keaton as a freelance profession and ‘cool’ mom, who understands, loves and supports her children “even under the most challenging circumstances”. She’s another emerging “new mom”, with family and work balance.
7. Julie Kavner — Marge Simpson on ‘The Simpsons’
Even with a layabout husband, Marge Simpson lives something akin to a middle class suburban lifestyle. She is the June Cleaver of animation, and exemplifies the selfless, completely devoted, unconditionally loving, moral building tenets of Ideal motherhood as described by both Rich and DiQuinzio. In doing so, she fits Aristotle’s characteristics of selfless Nobility and “goodness”.
8. Sally Field — Nora Walker on ‘Brothers and Sisters’
Another overbearing mother who can’t let her children go out of her devoted love. She cares “a little too much”. It is interesting to note that once children reach adulthood, the mother’s unconditional love and attention becomes a nuisance, only to be tolerated because it stems from love. Her devoted love - selfless love - makes her worthy of praise, even if her actions are unnecessary.
9. Mary Louise Parker — Nancy Botwin on ‘Weeds’
A widowed mother who will go to all lengths in order to ensure a comfortable lifestyle for her children” including illegally selling marijuana. This is the first socio-economically insecure mother to come up on the list. Despite causing harm to herself, Nancy Botwin is praised for taking care of her sons at any cost - another selfless hero according to Aristotle.
10. Katey Sagal — Peggy Bundy on ‘Married With Children’Peggy Bundy is not praiseworthy, and in fact is pretty much the opposite of the selfless, sacrificing, unconditionally loving mother. But she’s funny. Peggy Bundy is part of an uneducated, working class family, and is funny because of her materialism, her selfishness, and her laziness. She provides humour for the audience, an example to mock but not follow.
In Conclusion
The remaining top ten TV mom’s reflect the general praise/blame dichotomies present in the first ten. IN this case, the top 20 indicates most popular mothers on TV, rather than best, most ideal mothers on TV. However, the reason as to why each mother makes the list creates a praise/blame dichotomy, with more mothers featured as role models, as “good” mothers”. The number one praiseworthy quality of motherhood across the board appears to be a willingness and commitment to do anything for her children and her family, a tenet of the Ideal Mother. These mothers are selfless, and unconditionally loving and supporting to their children. The second praiseworthy quality seems to be the Ideal Mother who can balance her family with her career, if only for rarity. Both the TV Mom #1 and #2 are avatars of “new momism”, and so are rhetorically placed to be superior to the rest.